In the most previous article on visibility, we covered all of the reasons many of us clam up when it comes to being seen and feeling heard (find it here). Rooted in the fear of being judged and rejected, we covertly test the waters for safety to see if the coast is clear for the ‘real’ us to come out. Below we’ll walk through actionable steps to begin the work of smashing your goals without hiding from the limelight.
4 Ways To Overcome Fear Of Visibility
With all of the hard-earned knowledge from Part 1 of this article, you’re ready to finally get to the meat of the issue: how to squash this fear once and for all! Use the reflections after each segment to begin developing the action steps that make the most sense and fit into your life. After you’ve mapped it out, connect with a trusted person to share what you’ve uncovered. Request their support to help keep you accountable to what you’ve decided to set into motion.
1. Recognize that perfection isn’t real and mistakes happen
I’m not going to be the first person to say it to you, bu no one is ‘perfect’. In fact, perfect doesn’t even exist (more on that later)! All, yes all, of us humans are doing the very best we can, at any given moment. And mistakes? They are part of the gig. Such a simple truth to say, yet a so complex to truly live out.
Reflection: What would be different about being truly seen or heard if you set down the expectation of being perfect in order to be accepted? What would be different in the way you live? Think? Feel? What would you be able to accomplish, if this was all true?
2. Mistakes = growth OPPORTUNITY
This is a mantra to help you switch the script on the harsh and self-critical judgement commonly experienced around mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and grow, but only if we are open enough to receive the information they pack.
Reflection: Think of your most recent blunder. Make a list of 3 different things you would not have learned without making this mistake. How could you use this new insight to set you up for this type of learning when you encounter your next mistake?
3. Practice self-compassion, you’re developing a new muscle!
It’s likely that stepping out into the land of vulnerability and being visible will feel really clunky at first. My challenge to you is that you attempt to show up with compassion and kindness towards yourself. Even if things get ugly. It takes a boatload of courage to do what you’re embarking on, so let’s recognize it!
Reflection: How do you express compassion to the humans or animals that you care most about? What do you do or say? How do behave towards them and their situation? Write down your answer. Now switch yourself out with that person or animal you care so deeply about, and treat yourself the same way you just were treating them. Journal your experience.
4. Baby steps, please!
Know that in the world of self-growth and self-development, what you’re embarking on is a marathon, not a sprint. To set yourself up for success, use your small wins as building blocks to set yourself up to smash the big goals you’ve set your sights on. If we throw ourselves into the deep end by attempting to conquer the biggest goals first we run the risk of quitting prematurely.
Reflection: Pick one area of your life that feels ‘lower risk’ to start practicing some vulnerability and visibility within. What would it look like if you were 5-10% more genuinely visible within this area? What would the people around you notice? What would you notice? What would be different in the way you acted, thought, and felt?
Behind You All the Way
If you’re waiting for permission, here it is: It’s totally okay to accept help with conquering this fear (& where it stems from!). In fact, from one do-it-yourself-er to another, I’ll share some hard-earned info. Working with a trained professional can save you time, sweat, and frustration that a do-it-yourself situation requires. When you’re ready, schedule a free pre-consultation here, to start confidently showing up for life on your terms.