In the most previous article on visibility, we covered all of the reasons so many of us clam up when it comes to being seen and feeling heard (find it here). Rooted in the fear of being judged and rejected, we use disguise to covertly test the waters to see if it’s safe in social situations for the ‘real’ us to come out. Next, let’s dive into what we can actually do about this through a healing lens.
Of course, working with someone who’s trained to help with this fear and where it stems from is going to give you a tailored approach that’s going to give you the best results. But there are a few things you can do to get the ball rolling before reaching out for help.
It goes without saying that absolutely no one is ‘perfect’. In fact, perfect doesn’t even exist (more on that later)! We are all just humans that are doing the best we can. And along the way we’re f*cking up by making countless mistakes in most avenues of life.
Repeat that over and over until it’s part of your bones. By switching the script from judging yourself to looking at that mistake as an opportunity to learn and grow, you’re opening so many other doors that would have remained closed off if you instead swooped in with judgment and self-criticism.
It’s likely that stepping out into the land of vulnerability and being visible will feel really clunky at first. And that’s how you know you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing! Show up with some compassion and kindness towards yourself for being brave enough to do the hard work that self-work is.
Taking small steps towards being more visible such as speaking up during meetings or sharing your ideas with colleagues is a great way to start building confidence in your own voice and being visible. Not only do those little steps add up over time, but they also are what’s going to keep your nervous system from going into overdrive in an attempt to handle all of the things that come with BIG changes. Putting ourselves in over our heads with too big of steps right out of the gate will lead to burnout, confusion, and wanting to quit prematurely.
Fear of visibility can be incredibly intimidating. And if you’ve made it this far into the article, a congratulations is earned for even considering busting down the walls associated with this self-work. The steps listed above are going to help kick off this work, but nothing is going to compare to working with a trained professional on this. An action plan that is tailored to what your specific goals and stuck-points are, is incredibly important because generalized step-work will only get you so far.
